Thursday, 10 April 2014

ANXIETY

Anxiety.

This is going to be a very hard post for me to write as its very personal, Grab a brew, a couple of biccies and get comfy because this could be a long one.

'Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.'

Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life, however, some people find it hard to control their worries. Their feelings of anxiety are more constant and very often affect their daily life. 
Sometimes people don't understand how and why anxiety affect you, they don't know how to react or how to help, Its harder when you don't understand either.

Hopefully this blogpost will help you or someone who has a family member or friend going through it at the minute.


I don't know where to start talking about my experiences of it, the thought sent shivers through my body as its hard to talk about. 
I cant put my finger on the exact time it started as ive always being quite a shy and quiet person. It got serious about 6 years ago, thats when it started to affected my daily life.
My nervousness got worse and id only ever leave the house if i was going to college, even then i wouldn't want to go. Id been with my boyfriend craig for about 6 months so we were still going through the dating and impressing stage, going to cinema and out for meals was sooooo hard, i'd have a panic attack every time. Thats how i knew i had a keeper, he stuck with me through the hardest times and hes still with me 6 years later. He got me to where i am now, he has a no shit attitude so saying no wasnt an option, But he never pushed me into anything, it was always my decision and thats a really big thing to remember!


The feeling of anxiety is really hard to explain, I get really severe butterflies in my belly and my heart starts to beat ten to the dozen, i'm constantly saying to myself in my head 'i can't do this'. It even got the the extent were id go dizzy and pass out. In the early days i'd work my self up that much id be physically sick.
At first i couldn't go anywhere. Restaurants, cinema, college, busses, family events, days out, Staying over, going away, crowds, phone calls ... actually anything! :( Now the only things i struggle with is going away any were, big family events, restaurants (not pub restaurants, there fine) and anything thats new to me ie. new people or new surroundings.


Going to the doctors was almost impossible for me, i'd have to explain how i felt and i didn't know what i was feeling, i couldnt describe it so i must have gone about 4 times, iv been to counselling which for me didn't work, the best advice she gave me was a CD with relaxation techniques on it, that did help. So basically i helped myself.


The main things that helped me keep it at bay are happy thoughts, Focusing on being positive, keeping busy and distracting myself from the negative thoughts. I use the 'Bach rescue remedy' when i can feel it happening, its probable a placebo but when you have a disorder where your thoughts take over, a placebo could be the best thing for it.


The one main thing you have to remember is you're not alone, i felt like the only person in the world suffering from this but i wasn't ... I hope i've given someone the confidence to get up and kick anxiety in the butt like i did or even the information to a family member or friend to help their loved one to get through it. It isnt easy, you'll never be fully cured but you can live your life happy and do the things you've always wanted to do.



 Thanks for taking the time to read (i know it was a long one)
MUCH LOVE, CHELSEA XO